Life is what happens while you're making other plans said John Lennon in his song, Beautiful Boy. All it takes is one bad mammogram to hammer home this truth!
The good news is that in my case the system worked. On Monday the mammo folks called and said they wanted more pictures of my left girl, so my BFF Princess Di said you can't go alone and came with me. The radiologist was there and pointed out to me a funny tiny spot...and said get an ultrasound. So Friday August 31 I went for an ultrasound...Dr. B., the lady radiologist, spoke to me with that deer in the headlights thank god I'm not you this is bad news look on her face...you need a biopsy! This is a mass, says Dr. B, whatever it is--it needs to come out, but don't worry about it over the weekend! Like I couldn't not worry?! So I walk out to my car and call my primary care doc, and she was in. Dr. G. says, well one step at a time, yadda yadda, and I say whatever it is, it needs to come out. I called and left messages with my sister, gal pals and BFFs, and I drive home in stunned shock. At that point I just knew in my bones, it was not nothing...it was going to be very bad news. A karmic bitch slap by my maternal family tree--reaching out of the grave to put a period on my mortality! Thank god for the healing power of martinis & BFFs, I got through the weekend to Wednesday when the biopsy was to be done at 9:00 am. Mostly I got through the weekend by strapping on my Ipod and heading up the bike path for 10 miles or so. I only wanted to walk, and walk and walk. Somehow moving along at blondie speed listening to a novel or a song kept me sane, kept me feeling in control of some part of my body and life.
I wanted to get outside and walk and walk and walk some more. On Wednesday after the biopsy I walked 10 miles, on Thursday I walked 7, and on Friday I walked 6 after I got the call from Dr. G. that yes it is my worst nightmare, Invasive Ductal Carcinoma less than 2Cm and the biopsied lymph nodes were clear, finally the hint of some good news.
What do you do with your gal pals? Drink coffee or martinis? Check out T.J.Maxx bargains? Well I've one upped you there! My BFF Princess Di and I are doing the breast thing together. We're the breast cancer twins of Belmont! Amazingly, a week before me...her highness was diagnosed with breast cancer! Now I must confess here to being a competitive kinda gal (especially when playing Trivial Pursuit) but I never wanted to play this game and win!
Life works in mysterious ways and Di had already lined up all the best Jewish breast cancer docs in Boston. After all, I joined the tribe to avoid buying retail and enjoy all the benefits of fine Jewish doctors and if they were cute and had great chest hair well that's just the icing on the cake, right? My HMO couldn't find a surgeon to see me for over almost 2 months! So, I just decided to join Princess Di's medical team and we would traverse this road together. Sisterhood IS powerful!
Dr. K. could see me on the Monday after my biopsy! So there I was in the surgeon's office still in shock but with an X-ray showing my diagnosis! Dr. K. the most un-surgeon-like cutter I've ever met said, as I was sitting down, "don't worry you are going to be fine!" I said my goal was to rock my grand babies in 15 years, and he said no problem. What a dear, sweet guy, with a terrific sense of humor since he guffawed when I told the ketchup-story of my decision to bolt from Felix & the farm so long ago.
More in the next post. . .3 surgeries! He just couldn't keep his hands off my breast, whatz a gal to do?!
"Sometimes Delores, being a bitch is all a woman has!" Steven King, Delores Claiborne.
“I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore;
And I know too much to go back an' pretend.
'Cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again!
Oh yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain;
Yes, I've paid the price,
But look how much I gained!
If I have to
I can do anything!
I am strong,
I am invincible,
I am woman!”
